ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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