well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
