I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
