Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
