butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
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