I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
