Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
