dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
