This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
