I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
