I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
