remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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