i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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