i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
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After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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