Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
