I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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