So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
