dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
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you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
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Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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