so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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