i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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