would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
