how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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