It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He did a backflip because drugs
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