Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
