he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
