She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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