Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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