I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
