If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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