those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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