all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
