I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
