Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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