He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
