Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
