sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
