pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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