Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
