My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
