Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
