He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
