one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
