3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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