This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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