Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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