i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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