One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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