Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
