Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
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Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
porn star boner night. come get it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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