I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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