the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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