Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
