I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
