I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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