false alarm. still invincible.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
