don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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