READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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