Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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