Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
