What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
