Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
