once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
