we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize